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This Is What Happens To Your Brain After A Breakup

“Turning on the reward neurons releases repeated floods of the neurotransmitter dopamine. And the dopamine activates circuits inside the brain that create a craving…In the case of romance, the thing you need more of is your beloved.” – Diane Kelly

We’re going to assume, at least for the sake of this article, that someone you once loved someone did not end up becoming “the one.”

Many people reading this article will concede that a such an unfortunate occasion has happened at least once.

The underlying concept you’ll see throughout the article is this: the brain’s complex – and often, unknowable – intricately woven circuitry produces complex feelings that arise from any and all situations; whether positive or negative.

Of course, this includes any relationship that has gone awry.

The motivation behind this article is to explain what happens to the brain following a painful breakup. The benefit of such knowledge is noteworthy in the sense that we will gain a more comprehensive understanding of the neurocircuitry that accompanies a hard felt separation.

It is our hope, then, that this knowledge will enable you to understand why such emotions occur – and what you can do as a rational being to make the best out of a tough situation.

HUMANS ARE HARDWIRED FOR LOVE

Anyone remember the 1980’s commercial “This is your brain on drugs?” This commercial was a well-intended (though rudimentary) depiction of what occurs in the human brain during drug use. Whether or not one is a fan of this ad, it is challenging to object its effectiveness. Following extensive research, the Partnership for a Drug-Free America reproduced a more intensive version of the commercial following a sizeable decrease in drug abuse cases.

As it turns out, the human brain reacts similarly to love. According to Psychology Today, “love has probably started more schoolyard fights, adult feuds, and outright wars than every other catalyst combined – money, alcohol, drugs, politics, sports, etc.”

Simply put, the numerous effects of love on the brain are strikingly similar to those produced by drugs. Similar to how drugs can induce a stagnant effect on the human brain, love (especially deep love) can result in the same – if not exacerbated – neurological effects.

A neuroscientist at the Einstein College of Medicine explains love’s effect on the brain as follows: “Other kinds of social rejection are much more cognitive…(Romantic rejection) is a life changing thing, and involves systems that are not at the same level as feeling hungry or thirsty.”

In other words, when someone we love rejects us, it is as harmful, if not more so, to the brain than social needs (friendships) and primal needs (sustenance).

Wow…can’t say we saw that coming. Wonder what Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil would say on the matter. Anyway, digression aside let’s get down to it.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BRAIN AFTER A BREAKUP

When we separate or reject somebody who we love, the physical effects – shallow breathing, nausea, chest constriction, etc. – are all very real phenomena.

Studies demonstrate that individuals in the midst of a breakup show disproportionate activity in the brain regions that determine the body’s response to physical pain and distress. This is potentially dangerous; and again, the more intimate the relationship, the likelier that adverse and extreme harmful physical side effects arise.

Unfortunately, this counterproductive cognitive response negatively affects other physical channels; including higher blood pressure, weakening of the immune system, and complications of the digestive system. These physical symptoms may persist for days, weeks, or months following a separation; with the duration of such effects highly dependent upon the individual.

Perhaps the most tragic response to heartbreak is a condition known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy (aka, “Broken Heart Syndrome) which produces stress hormones in extreme excess, which can, sadly, result in a heart attack, stroke, or even death.

(Sigh…)

WHAT THIS MEANS (AND DOESN’T)

From birth to death (and perhaps beyond), human beings desire to be loved. Regardless of the rapid advancements in neuroscience, we cannot – nor should we presume to – understand the complex mechanisms of love on our brain, body, and soul.

Experience (and science) tells us that love and human existence are inseparable. On the positive side, this inseparability enables us to love and cherish those we hold dear despite any and all circumstances. On the not so positive side, such findings elaborate upon – for better or worse – our dependence on others for connection, friendship, love, and nourishment.

For those currently going through the heartbreak that many of us have endured, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Human beings, by evolutionary design, are resilient creatures. Our brains have the superlative capability of learning, adapting, and rewiring to any past, present or future situation.

REFERENCES:
PARKER, D. (N.D.). QUOTES ABOUT ADAPTATION (102 QUOTES). RETRIEVED MARCH 24, 2017, FROM HTTP://WWW.GOODREADS.COM/QUOTES/TAG/ADAPTATION
KELLY, D. (2015, JULY 20). HERE’S WHAT BREAKING UP DOES TO YOUR BRAIN. RETRIEVED MARCH 24, 2017, FROM HTTP://GIZMODO.COM/HERES-WHAT-BREAKING-UP-DOES-TO-YOUR-BRAIN-1717776450
WEISS, R., LCSW, CSAT-S. (2015, JANUARY 28). THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON LOVE. RETRIEVED MARCH 24, 2017, FROM HTTPS://WWW.PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM/BLOG/LOVE-AND-SEX-IN-THE-DIGITAL-AGE/201501/IS-YOUR-BRAIN-LOVE


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Fun Fact Friday

  • If someone truly loves you, they tend to hug you for at least 5 seconds or more.

  • Changing how you walk affects your mood.

  • Studies show that the walking through a doorway causes memory lapses, which is why we walk into another room, only to forget why we did.

  • Emotions are contagious. Unpleasant or negative emotions are more contagious than neutral or positive emotions.

Coffee is the second most traded commodity on Earth after oil.
  • 1% of people are addicted to exercise.

  • Long distance relationships are as satisfying as normal relationships in terms of communication, intimacy, and commitment, studies show.

  • It takes your brain approximately 90 seconds to decide whether or not you like someone.

  • Laughter helps increase memory and learning. Incorporating humor into education leads to higher test scores.

 

Happy Friday!
 source:   factualfacts.com   https://twitter.com/Fact   @Fact


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Fun Fact Friday

  • It takes about 7 minutes for the average person to fall asleep.
  • A “gut feeling” is a chemical signal that your stomach creates to warn the brain of danger.
  • Fast food restaurants use yellow, red, and orange because those are the colors that stimulate hunger.
  • In the next 30 seconds, you will, on average, produce 72 million red blood cells, shed 174,000 skin cells, and have 25 thoughts.
  • Studies show those who don’t eat breakfast, or eat it only sometimes, are twice as likely to be overweight as those who eat two breakfasts.
  • It only takes 0.2 seconds to fall in love.

 

Happy Friday  🙂
 
source:       factualfacts.com       https://twitter.com/Fact       @Fact


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Fun Fact Friday

  • The downside of being shy is that people misjudge you as thinking you’re better than others just because you’re quiet.
  • 91% people skip the first slice of bread, just because it’s ugly.
  • Popcorn is by far the healthiest snack. It builds bone, muscle, tissue, aids digestion, and is good for the teeth.
  • Generally, you should never forget what a person says to you when angry because that’s when the truth finally comes out.
bread
  • According to a study, wishing someone luck makes them do better.
  • A sleeping human brain can still understand the words being spoken around it.
  • Bottling up your emotions can lead to depression.
  • Studies have found that smiling is 69% more attractive than wearing makeup.
  • It only takes 0.2 seconds to fall in love.
  • Focusing primarily on the person you’re talking to rather than yourself and the impression you’re making lessens social anxiety.

 

Happy Friday  🙂

 

source:       factualfacts.com       https://twitter.com/Fact       @Fact


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Fun Fact Friday

  • North American school buses are yellow because humans see yellow faster than any other color, which is important for avoiding accidents.
  • People fall in love on average 7 times before marriage.
  • Studies have shown that eating food without preservatives can improve I.Q by up to 14%.
  • Psychologists have found that whenever you’re in a bad mood, you can feel better just by forcing yourself to smile.
  • A teaspoon of honey is actually the lifework of 12 bees.
preservatives
  • Washing your hands makes you more optimistic.
  • Shy people tend have great observational skills, making it easier to recognize the core of a problem then solving it.
  • Pineapples are not a single fruit, but a group of berries that have fused together.
  • Pumpkin is not a vegetable, scientifically it is a berry.

Happy Friday  
🙂

 source:       factualfacts.com       https://twitter.com/Fact       @Fact


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Fun Fact Friday

  • A survey says that those who wear black are seen as serious and reliable — almost 50% women and 64% of men agree that black exudes confidence.
  • Treadmills were created to punish English prisoners in 1818.
  • Loneliness increases a person’s risk of mortality by 26 percent, an effect comparable to the health risks posed by obesity.
  • Bees are directly responsible for the production of 70% of fruits, vegetables, seeds, and nuts that we consume on a daily basis.
strawberries
Strawberries actually contain more vitamin C than oranges

 

  • Falling in love has similar neurological effects as the high produced from taking cocaine.
  • Strawberries actually contain more vitamin C than oranges.
  • A breakup feels more extreme than other forms of social rejection because romance ties into more primal parts of the brain.
  • Intelligent people are more forgetful than those with average intelligence.
  • The average woman smiles 62 times a day. The average man smiles only 8 times.

Happy Friday  
🙂

source:       factualfacts.com       https://twitter.com/Fact       @Fact


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This Powerful Perspective Shift Can Inspire The Love You Want

One of the biggest mistakes many of us make when we want more affection from someone is trying to negotiate that experience from him or her.

What I mean is: We explain all the reasons we should be treated differently and then hope the person will follow through so we can feel better in the relationship

This strategy for attracting more love never works. In fact, it usually backfires and pushes people away!

While I’m a big fan of open communication and talking about your needs and feelings, I want you to know that your words are not what inspires people to shower you with love.

What Inspires People to Shower You With Love Is Your Energy

In this article, I’ll explain what your energy is, how it influences your relationships, and how to shift your energy so people naturally want to shower you with the love and affection that feels good to you.

First, let’s talk about energy. Your energy is essentially the feeling state you’re in most of the time. And this feeling state (your energy) dictates how your relationships unfold.

We attract people and experiences that match our predominant energy state.

So if your energy state is typically fulfilled, happy, connected, and overflowing with love, then you’ll attract experiences that match that. You tend to feel fulfilled, happy, connected, and overflowing with love in your relationships and in your life.

But if your energy is in a state of lacking, not getting enough, and not feeling fulfilled, then you attract experiences that match that. You feel lacking, like you’re not getting enough and are unfulfilled in your relationships and your life.

Your energy dictates what you experience in relationships. Because of this, the way to change your relationships is by shifting your energy.

The good news is this is easy to do.

By moving from the energy of “I’m not cared for” (which is the state we’re in when trying to negotiate more love) to the state of “I’m fulfilled, I’m confident, and I’m worthy of your love, too,” you automatically inspire people to love you.

Love

 

So, How Do You Put It Into Practice?

Below are four tips that will dramatically shift your energy, so you can inspire people to love you in a deep, fulfilling way.

1. Prioritize quality time with yourself every day.

Quality time with yourself gives you an opportunity to feel connected with you. And the more you connect with yourself, the more you’ll inspire connection with others.

This alone time is a space for you to check in with yourself, see how you’re feeling, explore who you are, and simply listen to your internal process.

This subtle exercise will increase the energy of “I feel connected,” which will automatically create a positive change in your connection with others, too.

2. Cultivate love from within.

Your source of love is inside you. All the love you need starts from within.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t desire love from others or that relationships are useless. It means the foundation of love in your life always starts from within you.

Cultivating self-love is easier than most of us think. Start by getting quiet, taking a few deep breaths, and exploring the energy that exists at the center of your chest. As you practice this simple exercise, you’ll discover the essence of joy, peace, and wholeness that lives within you. That feeling is self-love.

This energy is waiting for you to connect to it whenever you want. This practice is the cornerstone for creating enormous love in your life.

3. Shower yourself with the affection you want to receive from others.

How do you want to be treated in a relationship? Are you treating yourself that way?

One of the quickest ways to shift your energy in relationships is by treating yourself exactly how you want to be treated by others. Remember — your energy determines how people treat you!
Approach yourself with kindness and respect, and that’s what you’ll receive. Shower yourself with positive vibes, compliments, and care, and you’ll inspire others to do that too.

Love yourself the way you want to be loved, and you’ll naturally attract that kind of affection in turn.

4. Stop trying to change the other person. Instead, ask how you can change yourself.

One of my favorite quotes from Gandhi is “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” This is deep wisdom, and it applies to relationships, too.

Be the change you wish to experience in relationships.

Become the person you want to be in the relationship, then let the relationship mold around you. Take the first step to make the changes in yourself, then watch the ways your partner and your life transform as a result.

What I really want you to remember is this: Negotiation doesn’t inspire people to shower us with love. Energy does.

The love you feel in relationships begins with you. Shift your energy to be an embodiment of love, and others will naturally offer you love and affection, too.

by Shelly Bullard      December 17, 2015