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6 Ways To Start ‘Living Big’ (And How It Can Change Your Life For The Better)

Are you doing everything you can to achieve your dreams?

“Living Big” is a mindset of living with abundance. Now the abundance is not what you own, or have, it is what you share. There are as many wonderful ways to Living Big as there are water drops in an ocean, needles on an evergreen tree, grains of sand on a beach.Living Big is learning to generously share yourself, your stories, and enjoy the exciting connections that develop. It’s putting yourself out into the world and embracing the things that once scared you. It can change your life and increase your happiness and even your self-assuredness. There are people who are too afraid to put themselves out there, but this is the key to Living Big and making it work for you, so it’s important to learn how to do it!

But what exactly does this concept mean, and how can you use it in your everyday life? Simply put, Living Big means taking every opportunity that comes your way. It means seeing these opportunities and trying your best to make every day another chance for you to succeed and be happy.

You make choices all the time about how you’re going to handle situations or how you’re going to choose to live our lives. Living Big simply means you’re learning to open up to the world and share yourself so that you’re living your best possible life in return!How can you start using Living Big in your life?
Here are 6 ways you can share your talent and amazing self with the world:
1. Shift your focus to positive things.

Human beings are programmed to see the negative in life, and so it can take some time to stop focusing on this when something good happens to you. And it’s important not to dwell on the negative and to instead embrace the positive effects in your life. Focus on being abundant in the areas that count, like generousness, innovation, creativity, resilience, honesty, and happiness.These positive expressions will make sure that you’re living life according to a healthy moral compass and will draw similarly-minded people to you as well. Living Big guarantees that you’re looking at the world in a new light, making certain that you’re noticing the goodness in the world and striving to achieve it in every aspect of your life.

2. Live with humility and gratitude.

Have you taken the time to notice everything life is giving to you, and to be grateful for it? The abundance around you is unimaginably amazing! You live in a fascinating system designed to sustain our lives.

You only need to breathe, eat, drink, sleep, work, and play in order to live in this awesome system. And the miracle of support keeps on happening, every moment of every day. This is whether you are aware of it or not. The greater your awareness, the greater your humility and gratitude.

When you live with humility, you begin to recognize that every morning, you’re given a new chance to make the most out of your life, simply by waking up!

Part of Living Big is in recognizing the areas where you can be grateful and then being grateful for them. You get to pursue many wonderful things in this big, beautiful world, and every day is an opportunity to make certain that you’re in the practice of saying, “Thank you!” whether it’s to ourselves, the people who help you, the planet that supports you, or the universe that sustains you.

3. Appreciate the freedom that you have.

Freedom is not something someone gives you. It is something you take. So how can you truly appreciate this power and the ability you have to pursue the things you want in life?Stop what you’re doing sometimes. Step outdoors and take a deep breath. Smell the fresh air, feel the breeze on your skin, and look at the sky and see its magnificent, ever-changing picture.

It is all here for you. It is always here, nurturing, feeding you. It costs you nothing to appreciate it. You occasionally get so caught up in trying to move forward that you forget the amazing things you already have. It’s really important to literally stop and smell the roses every once in a while, just so you can ground yourself and appreciate your life and the world around you.

Create a commitment and every day, recognize your freedom and embrace your goals. Understand that they are possible, and go for it! Then see how accepting your freedom and your chance to do something wonderful in this world will change your life for the better. When you live enthusiastically with the knowledge that you have choices on how to respond to everything that comes your way, you will be able to see the big picture that you’re striving toward, and you’ll gain some insight into how to bring your passion to life.

And when you need grounding, step back out into the world, breathe in the air, and remember to be thankful for all that you have and all that you’ve worked toward!

GRATITUDE

4. Live your dreams like they’re already happening.

The great American mythologist Joseph Campbell described the importance of “Following your bliss.” Your dreams will take you on a life-changing and ever-evolving journey that will grow and thrive as you do. And as you live big, they will change and become even better, new dreams replacing and building on the dreams you’ve already achieved.

In The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, you learned the importance of staying on your path with friends who love you and fighting for your dreams no matter how hard things get. Living Big encourages you to do the same.

You are all looking for something out in the world that is missing inside of you. Where is the answer? It is inside of everyone. Sometimes, you just haven’t recognized it yet. The more curious you are about your dreams, the more you nurture them to life, and the bigger you’ll live!

5. Living Big will teach you about perseverance and faith in the impossible.
Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why not follow my dreams?
  • Why can’t I make my life the way it most matters to me?
  • Why can’t I be unstoppable?
  • Why can’t failures and mistakes lead me to success?
  • Why can’t I imagine a successful future as though it has already happened?

When you look at closed doors around you as opportunities instead of losses, you’ll start to realize that you’re capable of so much more! Imagine yourself as a successful person who achieved all of their dreams, and then ask these question. Once you’ve pictured yourself where you want to be, work backward to discover what steps you think you needed to take to get there. It is all waiting for you, and it’s possible!

The greater your ability to trust in your dreams, the stronger you are. The greater is your perseverance to achieve your dreams. Remind yourself every day of the abundance around you.

Your dreams are your joyous compass to surrender, to create your success. Living Big is understanding that the world is available for you to thrive no matter what.

6. It will teach you discipline and to love and accept yourself.

Following a structure — any structure — requires discipline. Living Big and looking through the world to see the possibilities will require effort and discipline as well.

And as you practice being grateful for your opportunities and the blessings in your life, you’ll begin to appreciate and love yourself as well. After all, you’re the reason that you’re accomplishing your goals in life!

The more disciplined you are, the greater your self-love and the better the results in your life. Living Big is something everyone wants to achieve. Yet, wanting something is not enough.

Curiosity, self-discipline, and healthy connections bring light into our world. You can use these to overcome the areas where you might need help or are lacking a bit, and still look at the world with a smile and an attitude of thankfulness.

Being disciplined is loving yourself. Living Big is loving yourself with empowerment and sharing this with the world. Enjoy a better life and live big!

You deserve to be happy in life and to have the opportunity to fulfill your dreams. Living Big will help open these options to you and teach you to appreciate everything you have in life, even as you strive for bigger, better things.

Open yourself to possibilities and you can become the change you want to see in your own life!

Suzanne Kyra is a registered clinical counselor, empowerment speaker, and award-winning author. In addition to being an expert in individual, couple, family and professional development, she is an expert in Living Big. Go to her website, SuzanneKyra.com, to learn more about all of her personal and professional development programs, blogs and free information on How To Live Big and Live the Life You Love. 
Suzanne Kyra    June 22, 2018
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The Paradoxical Power of Humility

Why humility is under-rated and misunderstood

Post published by Karl Albrecht Ph.D. on Jan 08, 2015

Humility is widely under-rated in most Western cultures, it seems to me. It’s also widely misunderstood – maybe that’s why it’s under-rated.

Our popular-media culture is saturated with themes of conflict, combat, and conquest. Popular films feature cops chasing crooks; the military fighting terrorists; the lone avenger pursuing the evil-doers. We say we love peace makers, but our heroes are warriors. As a society, we like our celebrities to be cheeky, self-important, and even a bit narcissistic.

Little wonder that humble people seem a bit strange to us, as if they’re following some syncopated life rhythm that few people around them quite “get.”

Having claimed that humility is misunderstood, I suppose it’s incumbent on me to offer a definition.

What is humility? It’s a subtle concept, and I find myself having to frame it mostly in terms of what it is not. My conception of humility is what you have when you give up certain self aggrandizing thought patterns, reflexes, and behaviors. I offer the proposition – and the value judgment – that humility is a kind of liberation, a paradoxical state of freedom from the culturally imposed norms of narcissistic “me-first” thinking.

Practitioners of many spiritual traditions, such as Buddhism, would say that attaining such a state is a necessary part of the journey toward enlightenment.

One definition of humility is:

a psycho-social orientation characterized by 1) a sense of emotional autonomy, and 2) freedom from the control of the “competitive reflex.”

What is the competitive reflex? It is:

the preconscious, visceral impulse to oppose or outdo others, or to auto-react against perceived threats to one’s established sense of self.

Consonant with the premise of what humility is not, as I think of it:

  • It’s not letting others “push you around.”
  • It’s not being a doormat, a sucker, or letting people “walk all over you.”
  • It’s not constantly sacrificing your interests to those of others (and then feeling like a victim or a martyr).
  • It’s not avoiding conflict or confrontation – not of your making, anyway – for the sake of “being nice.”
  • It’s not about hiding your feelings or suppressing your views to avoid alienating others.

Humility is about emotional neutrality. It involves an experience of growth in which you no longer need to put yourself above others, but you don’t put yourself below them, either. Everyone is your peer – from the most “important” person to the least. You’re just as valuable as every other human being on the planet, no more and no less. It’s about behaving and reacting from purposes, not emotions. You learn to simply disconnect or de-program the competitive reflex in situations where it’s not productive.

The legendary gestalt therapist Fritz Perls said, “I am I and you are you; I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.” It’s a liberating idea, I believe.

So, how do you free yourself from the competitive reflex? That requires, first, that you recognize the reflex when it rises up in you; and second, that you choose a more versatile response.

humility

How aware are you of the competitive reflex in yourself?

Let’s consider an example. Your friend has just remodeled her home, and is pleased and proud of the results. She invites you in to have a look. The premise of the situation, whether your recognize it or not, is for her to show off her house; for you to appreciate it and praise her for it; and for her to feel good about it. So what do you do?

As she proudly points out the various features, do you feel an impulse to tell her how she could have done it better? Do you “explain” things to her, signaling that you know more about these things than she does? Do you straighten that picture that’s slightly askew? Do you discourse on how you did it better in your own home? Does it turn into a bragging contest, with two people trying to score points on each other? Or do you support her in her moment of triumph, satisfaction, and self-congratulation?

There’s a long list of such diagnostic test questions. Do you offer unsolicited advice to others about how to live their lives better? Do you “damn with faint praise” when somebody shares their new idea or new discovery about life? If someone tells a joke, do you feel compelled to top it with a better one? Or, do you hold back on laughing, so the joke falls flat? Do you always have a better story, a better example, a better suggestion, or a better solution? Do you feel compelled to demonstrate your smart you are, or how much you know?

Are you a back seat driver? Do you like to tell people how to raise their kids better? Do you lecture or preach to others? When someone says something that’s mistaken or misinformed, how do you react? If you have a different opinion, do you precipitate a win-lose debate, or do you show respect for the other person’s view as you’re sharing your own?

Humility is less a matter of self-restraint and more a matter of self-esteem. The greater your sense of self-worth, the easier it is to appreciate others, to praise them, and to encourage them.

Does this mean that it’s wrong to try to win at bridge, or improve your tennis game, or compete to get ahead in your work place? Of course not – those are parts of a separate dimension of life. Your talents and abilities will speak for themselves. What we’re dealing with here is a matter of social intelligence, which involves inviting people to move with and toward you, instead of away and against you.

A well-developed sense of humility shines through in your behavior toward others. They feel affirmed, appreciated, encouraged, validated, and psychically nourished. Most of us are powerfully drawn to people who treat us that way, like bees to flowers.

The esteemed psychologist William James reminded us,

“The deepest craving in all human beings is the desire to be appreciated.”

References:
Branden, Nathaniel. Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation. New York: Bantam, 1985.
Perls, Frederick. In and Out the Garbage Pail. San Francisco: Gestalt Therapy Press, 1969.

The Author:
Dr. Karl Albrecht is an executive management consultant, coach, futurist, lecturer, and author of more than 20 books on professional achievement, organizational performance, and business strategy. He is listed as one of the Top 100 Thought Leaders in business on the topic of leadership.
He is a recognized expert on cognitive styles and the development of advanced thinking skills. His books Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success, Practical Intelligence: The Art and Science of Common Sense, and his Mindex Thinking Style Profile are used in business and education.
The Mensa society presented him with its lifetime achievement award, for significant contributions by a member to the understanding of intelligence.
Originally a physicist, and having served as a military intelligence officer and business executive, he now consults, lectures, and writes about whatever he thinks would be fun.


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9 Ways to Attract Someone Who Adores You

“True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” – Ellen G. White

When is the last time you thought about the innate qualities that make you absolutely adorable?

Maybe you are too busy, scattered, or distracted that you haven’t thought about these qualities for some time. Make no mistake: you possess unique qualities that people truly appreciate and admire. Perhaps without even knowing, someone drew inspiration and strength from these qualities.

Think about the people in your life who you adore and are inspired by. What is it about these individuals that stimulate your inspiration? Perhaps it’s a mother, father, sister, brother, grandparent; could be someone who is not related, or a romantic interest. Is it their humor, strength, intelligence, honesty, energy, resilience, or something else? You can probably think of at least one person that has influenced you in this way.

Adoration – love, devotion, respect, reverence or strong admiration – is one of the strongest emotions that we feel. To adore someone is to be in awe of their being. Further, it creates very strong feelings of attraction. By exhibiting our qualities, we indeed create feelings of attraction and admiration in someone else.

Perhaps you possess some of the following qualities, perhaps you don’t. However, it doesn’t mean that you can’t develop them. Here are nine demonstrable qualities that cause attraction and adoration:

9 ways to attract someone who adores you:

1. Be Yourself

There is nothing more attractive than embracing who you really are and showing that to others.  Even if you succeed in attracting someone by using tactics that don’t reflect your true self, it is almost guaranteed that your true self will be discovered.  When you allow your unique self to shine through, people will realize, respect, and yes, even adore that.

It all boils down to the fact that we are all truly embodiments of love.  Why would you want to create something outside of that?  You may have to discover yourself for yourself first, but when you do, you won’t want to ever be anyone else.

2. Be honest

Being honest about your thoughts and feelings is attractive. Honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable, demonstrates individuality and confidence. On the other hand, dishonesty is seen as selfish, manipulative, and egocentric.

Unfiltered honesty about your opinions and perspectives appeals to most people. Those that disagree with and admonish you because of your opinions do not demonstrate understanding or rational thinking. They’re being harshly judgmental and showing people they are ignorant in the process.

Simply put: be honest in everything that you do. Anything else is lying or deceitfulness, plain and simple.

 3. Have a sense of humor

Having a sense of humor is a tremendous asset. Life is complicated and messy at times, which makes this quality all the more important. It also turns out that a sense of humor is a quality that causes attraction and adoration.

Women reading this article will attest to humor being incredibly attractive in both friends and romantic partners. Turns out that there is a biological reason why women view humor necessary in both plutonic and romantic relationships.

In a study done at Stanford University, 22 children aged six to 13 were shown a series of video clips – some of which were funny and some not. The children were hooked up to a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine (fMRI) to measure their brain’s activity.

When viewing the humorous material, girls showed more positive feelings in response than the boys did. Further, the girls felt more of a sense of reward in watching them.

Make them laugh, fellas.

couple

4. Be confident.

Confidence is not only important in attraction, it’s also important for an individual’s self-esteem. Confident people are easily observed, as they often radiate positivity, courage and self-respect.

Often times, confident people are the change agents of society. They believe very strongly in their ideas and their ability to get people to get behind them – often through sheer self-assurance. It takes a tremendous amount of confidence to create a following – in both yourself and in other people.

The former Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, is a perfect example. Jobs took a computer prototype manufactured in his garage, created a brand, and built a multi-billion dollar empire. Jobs and Steve Wozniak, the other co-founder, dealt with obstacle after obstacle before Apple, Inc. was actually established. Not to mention, Jobs was fired and re-hired as CEO from the very company that he helped create!

5. Practice selflessness

Putting others before ourselves is not something for the faint of heart. Individuals who are selfless have changed our world in incredible ways. These agents of change have often shouldered the heaviest burden; and through their willingness to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, these people continue to earn the respect and adoration of people around the world.

Jesus; Buddha; Gandhi; Mother Teresa; Nelson Mandela; Martin Luther King Jr…some of our greatest leaders were also the most selfless.

6. Be open-minded

As human beings continue to evolve, our society does as well. We are witnessing the challenge of conventional thinking on various issues – gay marriage, marijuana use, armed conflicts, global warming, etc. – viewpoints that were once considered untouchably mainstream.

Regardless of where you stand on an issue, the ability to remain open-minded is an essential quality to have. The ability to challenge conventional thinking, expand your consciousness, and pursue knowledge is invaluable. It also demonstrates intelligence and fluid thinking – two other traits that are admirable in people.

7. Be helpful

Have you ever met a selfish person? What was your impression? Similar to most people, you likely didn’t have a favorable opinion. The willingness to help others is something that our world needs more of. Many of the problems that exist – poverty, hunger, and other social ills can be solved if more people just make a determined effort to help.

If you’ve achieved some sort of success and are financially capable, consider donating to a worthy cause. Even better, consider donating your time. Numerous volunteer organizations exist within your community and are always looking for volunteers to work with and promote their cause.

8. Practice humility

What a wonderful breath of fresh air to be around someone who’s successful and intelligent, yet humble and unassuming. In America and other places, we’ve idealized people who are boastful and brash if they’ve achieved any success. The axiom “Actions speak louder than words” has seemingly fallen by the wayside.

Humility is an attractive quality because it’s becoming increasingly rare. There will always be the crowd that idolizes the brash and domineering qualities of successful people. However – for us – true admiration and respect is best reserved for those who quietly and unpretentiously make the world a better place.

9. Be resourceful

Resourcefulness – the ability to deal skillfully with new or difficult situations or to find solutions to problems – is a wonderful quality to have. Our experiences have given us a wide range of knowledge that enables us to help ourselves and others.

It’s not enough to simply possess knowledge for your own benefit. It should be used to help others in some way. Remember that not everyone is blessed with the same gifts that you are, and that you can make a big difference in the life of someone else.

Look into becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister, volunteering in a classroom, helping a child to read, volunteering in a hospital, or something else.