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Fun Fact Friday

  • People who speak two languages, may unconsciously change their personality when they switch languages.

  • Cuddling has the same effect on your brain as taking painkillers.

 

  • Your mind spends about 70% of it’s time replaying memories and creating scenarios.

  • When a person becomes more likeable because they are clumsy or make mistakes, it’s called the “Pratfall Effect.”

Happy Friday!
 source:   factualfacts.com   https://twitter.com/Fact   @Fact


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Psychologists Explain How to Stay Calm In An Argument

“Conflict wreaks havoc on our brains. We are groomed by evolution to protect ourselves whenever we sense a threat. In our (world), we don’t fight like a badger with a coyote, or run away like a rabbit from a fox. But our basic impulse to protect ourselves is automatic and unconscious.” – Diane Musho-Hamilton

Emotional intelligence (“E.I.”) is defined as “the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.” A low E.I. generally leads to an inability to stay calm, resulting in more conflict, while a high E.I. leads to less conflict and an ability to stay calm under pressure

Conflict is an inevitable part of life. Even the coolest, calmest, and the most collected person in the room will experience some degree of interpersonal turmoil at some point. In most cases, people don’t have any control over what happens next.

The only aspect of a conflict we can control is how we react. This isn’t to say that overriding this “automatic and unconscious” process is easy; it’s not.

But we can learn to recognize, acknowledge, and manage our negative emotions. We can override, to some degree, this innate physiological response.

We can learn to stay calm during any conflict, including in the midst of an argument.

HERE’S HOW:

1. TAKE DEEP BREATHS

Why: The ability to remain relaxed and centered during a conflict depends on your ability to de-tense the body. Shallow breathing is the body’s innate response when confronted with stress. Quashing this natural response and practicing deep breathing instead helps the body to remain calm.

How: Deeply inhale through the nose before slowly exhaling through the mouth. Smooth, deep breaths will cease the production of two stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol.

2. CONCENTRATE ON YOUR BODY

Why: Concentrating on any physical sensations that arise in a conflict permits you to mindfully change them. When your focus switches to the body, you can feel the tension, shallow breathing, etc. that accompanies stress.

How: When you notice your body beginning to tense, return your posture to a neutral state by relaxing your shoulders and hands. This open position communicates positivity using body language – and often diffuses conflict.

3. ACTIVELY LISTEN

Why: A person will initiate an argument, or some other kind of conflict, if they feel they’re not being heard. Furthermore, it’s impossible to diffuse a conflict without attentive and active listening.

How: When someone is talking, focus all of your attention on what the person says. Ignore any thoughts of constructing a response. Once the person finishes speaking, you have the necessary information to respond intelligently.

4. ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

Why: Open-ended questions are invaluable in conflict resolution. First, open-ended questions demonstrate that you are attentively listening. Second, these type of questions show respect for the person by allowing them to articulate their thoughts.

How: Learning to ask open-ended questions can be a bit tricky for some people. The easiest way to avoid asking “Yes” or “No” questions is not to use the words “Do,” “Don’t,” “Did,” and “Didn’t” when asking a question. Instead, use the words “What,” “Why,” “When,” and “How.” Try it now. Notice the difference?

5. KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN

Why: The easiest way to escalate conflict is raising your voice. On the flip side, one of the easiest ways to diffuse conflict is lowering your voice. Voice level is also linked to blood pressure. When BP reaches a certain point, it becomes more difficult to understand what’s being communicated.

How: The first step is to diffuse the initial anger of the other person. You can’t do this by raising your voice. On the other hand, you can quickly impart a sense of calm by making the conscious decision to lower your voice.

6. AGREE TO DISAGREE

Why: Not every conflict will produce amicable or mutually agreeable results. However, you can avoid deepening the conflict by politely disengaging from the conversation.

How: One law of interpersonal conflict is that it takes two participants. Separating yourself from an argument is appropriate under one of two circumstances: (1) the person becomes increasingly hostile, or (2) the conversation, despite your best efforts, is not going anywhere.

In closing, unless you happen to be a self-awareness guru, you will become angry in an argument at some point. Human beings are emotional creatures – and this ability to feel can be used to either our advantage or our detriment. It’s also important to forgive yourself if you should act in an unbecoming manner. We all do – and anyone who says otherwise is either a fool, a liar, or both.

By following one or more of the six tips given, you will assuredly feel more confident in any conflict. As a result, you’ll use your emotions and self-regulation to your benefit. Doing so, you will gain the trust and confidence of people in your good and even temperament.

To our non-argumentative better selves!

REFERENCES:
HTTP://WWW.NOTEY.COM/@HUBSPOTMKTGBLOG_UNOFFICIAL/EXTERNAL/8558555/HOW-TO-CALM-YOUR-BRAIN-DURING-CONFLICT-INFOGRAPHIC.HTML?UTM_CONTENT=BUFFER8E58E&UTM_MEDIUM=SOCIAL&UTM_SOURCE=PINTEREST.COM&UTM_CAMPAIGN=BUFFER
HTTPS://HBR.ORG/2015/12/CALMING-YOUR-BRAIN-DURING-CONFLICT
HTTPS://WWW.PINTEREST.COM/PIN/324751823116339269/
HTTPS://WWW.PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM/BASICS/EMOTIONAL-INTELLIGENCE


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5 Things Much More Important than Being Right

I really don’t like to be wrong. How about you?

Are you someone who wants — even needs — to be right most of the time? All of the time? Do you like to have the last word in a disagreement? Do you get frustrated when others don’t agree with your opinions? I do, much more often than I’d like. And it never feels good.

Being right is so overrated, especially when it comes at the expense of basic human kindnesses. Inherent in the need to be right is the desire — consciously or not — to put ourselves above others, to make them wrong in order to appease our own insecurities and our ego’s need to be perfect.

Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the love in that? There are so many healthier choices we can make than needing to be right. Let’s start making them!

When we find our minds locked into the need to be right — whether in an argument, a discussion or a casual conversation — let’s call on our hearts to integrate the following five virtues.

1. Openness

We can’t always agree with each other, nor should we always try to. That doesn’t mean everyone who disagrees with us is wrong, or that we’re always right. There’s so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how dialogues move forward and connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with whom we communicate.

2. Detachment

It really is possible to be passionate about what we’re trying to express without being attached to how it’s received. When we are attached to what we’re saying, and to the need to be right about it, we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who’s right and who’s wrong becomes irrelevant.

3. Humility

The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. Let’s take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. We don’t have to prove them so. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It’s not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn’t matter whether we’re right or wrong. What’s important is how we handle ourselves in either case.

4. Forgiveness

Though the need to be right enters all areas of our lives, it’s especially damaging during conflicts with those we love. When we believe we’ve been wronged, we often want to prove to the one who’s hurt or betrayed us just how wrong they are. We want to hurt them back. Instead, the focus needs to be on forgiveness. It’s important to share our feelings and express how we feel hurt, but not without a commitment to forgiving the action and the person, no matter how wrong we believe them to be. When the desire to forgive takes precedent, the need to be right dissipates, opening the door for a more conscious and healthy connection.

5. Kindness

Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we’re being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let’s operate from our hearts, with kindness.

The next time we feel ourselves pressing to make our point and needing to be right, let’s take a moment to remember that being right is not the goal. It’s unimportant. Let’s try to integrate some of the above qualities into our way of speaking, knowing that by doing so we invite a more conscious and loving exchange with whomever is on the other side of our dialogue.

What other qualities do you bring into your disagreements to keep them from being about who’s right and who’s wrong? I’d love to know.

 
by Scott Stabile      Oct 03, 2014


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Busy Schedules are Putting Children’s Health at Risk

‘Worry and busyness and stress is robbing children of their peace of mind,’ says child therapist

According to child and family therapist Michele Kambolis, children are vulnerable to anxiety and stress preventing them from getting a good night’s sleep.

Busy schedules, too many worries and a lack of sleep could be threatening the health of your children, one expert is warning parents.

Vancouver-based child and family therapist Michele Kambolis says she often hears from children who say they are working with tutors or doing homework late into the night.

“Worry and busyness and stress is robbing children of their peace of mind,” she says.

But getting enough sleep is crucial to a child’s development, Kambolis says.

“It’s a non-negotiable part of their health. Children who are sleep-deprived are at risk for a whole host of problems including difficulties at school.”

Cultural attitudes to sleep play a big role, she notes.

“We seem to live in a culture that doesn’t value sleep in the way that it should,” she says.
“Our lifestyles are more hurried and more worried and a lot of busy, busy activity is falling into the time of day when children really need brain rest.
“We’re focusing on high productivity and we know that children match us. They match our choice and our behaviour.
“It’s really important to create a clear delineation between the busyness of the day and nighttime when children can wind down, lean into our care and talk about whatever worries have arisen throughout the day.”

(Natalie Holdway/CBC)

Some of her tips include:

  • Cut back on children’s screen time an hour and a half before bed.
  • If nighttime wetting is a problem, help keep kids dry by using absorbent bedtime pants.
  • Address dietary issues. Caffeine and sugar late in the day makes it very difficult for kids to sleep at night.
  • Practice ways to calm the mind and body in order to facilitate sleep.
  • Communicate with teachers, day care providers or other caregivers about how the child is functioning through the day to see if a lack of sleep is causing concern.

 

CBC News      Posted: May 17, 2017 
source; www.cbc.ca


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Here’s Exactly How to Tap into Your Intuition for a Happier, Healthier Life

How many times have you said to yourself, “I had a bad feeling about this. I just wish I had listened to my gut!” You don’t have to be a psychic to tune in to your inner voice, and it can help you make better decisions in every area of your life.

Are intuition and instinct the same thing?

“People who think intuition comes from the unconscious may be confusing it with instinct,” says Seana Moran, EdD, a developmental psychologist at Clark University. Dr. Moran gives the instinctive, fight-or-flight stress response as an example of the body’s inherent, instinctual responses. “As opposed to the instincts expressed through our bodies, intuition is our mind’s automated response to multiple situations. It is often based on learning a task so well that it becomes natural,” she explains. Instincts, like the fight-or-flight response, are often triggered by chemical responses in the nervous system. Here are some weird things which may trigger it.

So, if it’s not an instinct, what is intuition, exactly?

Many experts say that intuition is a type of sixth sense that can help steer you toward a good decision if you let it. It may sound airy-fairy intangible, but in reality, intuition is a fine-tuned muscle you can develop over time based on learning from your experiences and environmental clues. “Intuition is, ‘I just know.’ It’s involved in the ‘aha!’ moment when a good idea suddenly comes to mind,” says Dr. Moran, who thinks of intuition as a confident decision that does not result from conscious analysis, logic, or deliberate steps. “It’s involved in everyday behaviors that have been overlearned, and are done automatically, such as brushing teeth, or riding a bike,” she adds. She cites Nobel Laureate psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who refers to intuition as fast thinking that we feel internally, as an immediate answer. Multiple studies, including a 2006 study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences substantiate this claim.

Learning how to flex the intuition muscle

“I think like a lot of things, intuition takes practice,” says therapist Phoebe Farber, PhD. Dr. Farber thinks of intuition as a visceral sense that can aid in your decision-making if you pay attention to it. “Say you’re meeting someone for the first time,” she explains. “You pick up on something about them that doesn’t sit right with you but the person is friendly, so you stop thinking about your first reaction. Later on, you realize that something was wrong, after all, and that your inner voice was trying to tell you. I’ve had situations when I didn’t pay attention to that feeling and then, it wasn’t OK,” she explains. The more you use your intuition, the easier it gets. According to data from Civic Science, a marketing agency, the experiences you acquire over your lifetime also help. That’s why older individuals tend to “trust their gut” more often than young adults do. Civic Science’s main findings indicate that 84 percent of Americans believe in intuition, but that those who don’t believe in trusting that sixth sense are more likely to be under 18. The group also found that people who do believe in intuition are more likely to have kids, jobs, and a spouse. They’re also typically 35 to 54 years old.

 

Gut, mind, or muscle memory—where does intuition live?

Whether you think of your intuition as a gut instinct, or the accumulation of sensory input activating the median orbito-frontal cortex of the brain, intuition may be hard to identify, and even harder to grasp. There’s even some research indicating that intuition may reside in, or at least impact, the heart. No matter where you believe your intuition lives, it’s important that you learn how to work this all-important, albeit intangible, muscle.

Learning how to listen to that inner voice

Think about all the stimuli around you at all times. “So much is coming in—so much sensation—that we’re saturated with it, and this can create a level of unconsciousness about how we take in the world that we’re completely unaware of,” Dr. Farber explains. “That unconscious osmosis is really important because it gives us significant information we can use to guide our conscious decision-making.” Dr. Farber meditates daily, which helps her tune in to her intuitive thoughts and feelings. “Quieting the noise may be as simple as paying attention to your sensations, reactions, and feelings, so you can slow yourself down, and not go on automatic pilot,” she suggests. Practicing meditation, yoga, and deep breathing are all ways to help yourself quiet down. Exercise, saunas, and even hot steamy baths, may help. The less chaos you let affect you, the more you’re able to connect with your intuitive self.

I think, therefore I am (unable to tune into my intuition)

The biggest enemy of intuition is another bane of modern life—overthinking. “If we reasoned our way through every decision or behavior, our minds would gridlock on processing all the details that need to be coordinated,” Dr Moran says. “Take, for example, walking. We learned to walk as toddlers, and now our bodies know how, so we don’t consciously think about it anymore. Same with speaking or writing or eating. As a result, intuition could be considered the after-effect of overthinking, or over-learning.” Overthinking eliminates your ability to tap into intuition.

Can intuition make you more successful at work?

You know that person in the boardroom who always seems to be one step ahead of everyone else? A lot of that may be due to good old-fashioned elbow grease, but intuition, and the confidence it brings, are probably playing a big role. Huffingtonpost.com reported on the 10 things that highly intuitive people do differently than the average worker, and one of them is that they listen to their instincts. The article also quotes Steve Jobs as saying that intuition is more effective in business than intellect is. You’ve probably spent most of your life trying to learn as much as you can, with good results. Tapping into your intuitive sense, however, in addition to the knowledge and skills you’ve already acquired, may very well make you unstoppable. Here are some additional strategies successful people use at work every day.

Can intuition make you more successful at love?

What if there really is such a thing as love at first sight? Could it be that your inner voice can identify the person who will be good for you instantaneously? For some, the answer may be yes, and for others, not so much. But the next time you see that person across a crowded room, you might want to try trusting your gut instead of tuning it out and listening instead to the unending parade of thoughts that often accompany those meetings. Instinctual thought works the same way in all situations, by culling, instantaneously, your past experiences and environmental clues. Whether the person you’re meeting is a future boss or a future husband, your gut instinct has no choice but to operate on your behalf. Once you learn how to connect with it, it won’t steer you wrong.

BY COREY WHELAN
source: www.rd.com


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 Your Doctor Wishes You Would do These 8 Things

We polled family doctors from across the country, and they laid down the law on eight things they wish we’d do—or stop doing.

According to our panel of general practitioners, Canadians aren’t always doing what they should to make the most of doctor visits—and skipping out on these crucial tactics could lead to a delay in diagnosing serious conditions. Here’s what our experts say you should add to your patient checklist.

1. Stop feeling shy

Many of us hesitate to talk to our physicians about sensitive issues (think substance abuse or sexual health—or even gender identity). But honesty and openness are important, both for fostering a good doctor-patient relationship and for ensuring that you get the best care, says Dr. Laura Pripstein, medical director of the Sherbourne Health Centre in Toronto and a staff physician on the family health team. That’s why it’s OK to try out a doc before committing. Dr. Pripstein recommends booking an initial visit to see if your potential doctor is a good fit. “You want to see if this person seems like someone you can talk to, someone you feel comfortable with,” she says. And if you don’t think your doctor understands or respects your concerns, don’t be afraid to find someone new. “If you feel you can’t ask questions that might be embarrassing, you don’t have the right provider,” says Dr. Pripstein.

2. Don’t come to your appointments unprepared

Get the most out of your time—and your doc’s—by arriving at your appointment with a clear plan for what you want to discuss, says Dr. David Ross, an associate professor of family medicine at the University of Alberta in Edmonton. “It’s good to have patients think about their problems from when the issue began, then look at it chronologically to the present,” says Dr. Ross. Making a prioritized point-form list in advance helps ensure that you don’t forget anything or mix up the order of events, he says. Then, work with your doctor to address the most serious issues first.

3. Choose your family doc over the walk-in clinic whenever you can

Yes, a clinic is convenient, but what we gain in easy access, we lose in familiarity. “I think it’s really valuable if people can connect with a family physician who they’ll be able to see long term, rather than just looking for the quickest way to access care,” says Dr. Maurianne Reade, a physician with the Manitoulin Central Family Health Team in Mindemoya and M’Chigeeng First Nation, Ont. A family doctor will know your medical history and will keep it in mind when suggesting treatment—so, for example, if you’ve recently taken several courses of antibiotics for a UTI, your physician will likely look for a different course of action if you come in with another infection. According to the most recent statistics, about 4.5 million Canadians don’t have a regular family doctor. If that’s you, contact your provincial College of Physicians and Surgeons, or check to see if your region has an online registry (Ontario has Health Care Connect, while Quebec launched a web-based family doctor finder last year). “It’s important to know that we doctors are privileged to share in your stories and to help you through difficult times,” says Dr. Reade.

4. Share what’s happening in your life

There’s a reason your doctor wants to know where you’re working, if you’re dating and how the kids are—and it’s not just because she likes you. (Though she does, we’re sure.) Physicians need a picture of their patients’ lives beyond their specific health symptoms and conditions, especially when they’re first getting to know you, says Dr. Stephen Wetmore, the family medicine chair at the Schulich School of Medicine & Dentistry at Western University in London, Ont. “Doctors need to know these things to understand how your lifestyle and habits may be influencing your health,” he says. So when you’re talking about your exercise habits, your health history and whether you smoke, drink or use drugs, mention your employment status, family obligations and intimate relationships, too, says Dr. Wetmore.

doctor

5. Be a better googler

Doctors know you do it (hello, late-night web searches), but they would prefer you to ask about good sources of information, rather than going rogue online. They also want you to be honest about your fears if you’ve read something particularly upsetting. Physicians can’t address your concerns or point you in the right direction if they don’t know what your fingertips have been up to. “The thing we want our patients to do is ask us for the most reliable Canadian websites to go to as resources,” says Dr. Heather Waters, an assistant professor of family medicine at McMaster University in Hamilton.

6. Don’t think your symptoms are “no big deal”

If you’ve noticed you are having more headaches than usual or are sleeping more or are eating less, you might not think to tell your doctor—but you should. There’s no set of rules for determining which symptoms are worthy of investigation or discussion, says Dr. Wetmore, but make a note to mention anything that is new or has changed since your last appointment. “You should bring up things like sudden weight loss or fatigue that seems excessive,” he says. “It could be a sign of a larger problem, or the cause of a developing problem.” Evenif it doesn’t end up being serious, seeing your doctor will help ease any anxiety you might be feeling, and that’s worth the visit, too.

7. Talk about what you’re taking

Tell your physician about any herbal medications and alternative treatments you take, says Dr. Mel Borins, a University of Toronto associate professor and author of A Doctor’s Guide to Alternative Medicine: What Works, What Doesn’t, and Why. It’s important for patients to share what’s working for them and for doctors to be open-minded about therapies outside their own practice or traditions, he says. This is also a concern when it comes to conventional meds, especially if you’re pregnant; there are only 23 medications specifically approved for use during pregnancy— yes, out of every available drug—which can leave women feeling anxious about taking prescription or over-the-counter drugs when they’re expecting, says Dr. Robyn MacQuarrie, an obstetrician-gynecologist in Bridgewater, N.S. But don’t stop taking your meds as soon as your pregnancy test comes back positive. “It’s really important to talk to your doctor instead of stopping cold turkey,” says Dr. MacQuarrie. Physicians can help you determine the risks and benefits of using different drugs, and they can let you know when the effects of not taking a medication while pregnant may be worse than taking it— which is the case with some antidepressants.

8. Avoid diagnosing yourself

You know doctors don’t like it when you come in prepared with a diagnosis you’ve made thanks to the aforementioned Dr. Google. But do you know why? It’s not because they think you’re encroaching on their territory! Rather, they worry that a serious medical problem might get missed or you’ll cause yourself unnecessary anxiety over something not serious. That’s because not everyone has the most common symptoms of a particular condition. Plus, men, women and different ethnicities can have varying symptoms for the same problem. For instance, Dr. Reade’s community has a large proportion of people with diabetes, which can affect the warning signs of cardiac disease, a major killer in Canada. Instead of the usual pain or pressure on the left side of the chest or arm, men and women with diabetes may instead have spells of profuse sweating with weakness. And, of course, women who don’t have diabetes can have differing symptoms, too; sometimes, a heart attack can feel like acid reflux or come with sudden nausea, vomiting and lightheadedness. So always tell your physician if your symptoms are surprising or strange—like a headache that feels different than usual, for example. And if you’re worried about a specific diagnosis, be sure to bring that up, too.

BY: TERRI COLES


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Fun Fact Friday

  • Alexithymia describes a person who has a difficult time expressing their feelings to others.
  • Having a large amount of hair on your body is linked to having higher intelligence.
  • Kissing is good for teeth. The anticipation of a kiss increases the flow of saliva to the mouth, giving the teeth a plaque-dispersing bath.
  • If everyone in the world washed their hands properly, we could save 1 million lives a year.

cuddle

 

  • Depressed people tend to eat more chocolate.
  • The inventor of the television would not let his own children watch TV.
  • Human saliva has a painkiller called opiorphin that’s more powerful than morphine.
  • Cuddling with loved ones releases oxytocin, a hormone which reduces stress and prevents nausea and headaches.
Happy Friday  🙂
 
source:       factualfacts.com       https://twitter.com/Fact       @Fact