One of the biggest mistakes many of us make when we want more affection from someone is trying to negotiate that experience from him or her.
What I mean is: We explain all the reasons we should be treated differently and then hope the person will follow through so we can feel better in the relationship
This strategy for attracting more love never works. In fact, it usually backfires and pushes people away!
While I’m a big fan of open communication and talking about your needs and feelings, I want you to know that your words are not what inspires people to shower you with love.
What Inspires People to Shower You With Love Is Your Energy
In this article, I’ll explain what your energy is, how it influences your relationships, and how to shift your energy so people naturally want to shower you with the love and affection that feels good to you.
First, let’s talk about energy. Your energy is essentially the feeling state you’re in most of the time. And this feeling state (your energy) dictates how your relationships unfold.
We attract people and experiences that match our predominant energy state.
So if your energy state is typically fulfilled, happy, connected, and overflowing with love, then you’ll attract experiences that match that. You tend to feel fulfilled, happy, connected, and overflowing with love in your relationships and in your life.
But if your energy is in a state of lacking, not getting enough, and not feeling fulfilled, then you attract experiences that match that. You feel lacking, like you’re not getting enough and are unfulfilled in your relationships and your life.
Your energy dictates what you experience in relationships. Because of this, the way to change your relationships is by shifting your energy.
The good news is this is easy to do.
By moving from the energy of “I’m not cared for” (which is the state we’re in when trying to negotiate more love) to the state of “I’m fulfilled, I’m confident, and I’m worthy of your love, too,” you automatically inspire people to love you.
So, How Do You Put It Into Practice?
Below are four tips that will dramatically shift your energy, so you can inspire people to love you in a deep, fulfilling way.
1. Prioritize quality time with yourself every day.
Quality time with yourself gives you an opportunity to feel connected with you. And the more you connect with yourself, the more you’ll inspire connection with others.
This alone time is a space for you to check in with yourself, see how you’re feeling, explore who you are, and simply listen to your internal process.
This subtle exercise will increase the energy of “I feel connected,” which will automatically create a positive change in your connection with others, too.
2. Cultivate love from within.
Your source of love is inside you. All the love you need starts from within.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t desire love from others or that relationships are useless. It means the foundation of love in your life always starts from within you.
Cultivating self-love is easier than most of us think. Start by getting quiet, taking a few deep breaths, and exploring the energy that exists at the center of your chest. As you practice this simple exercise, you’ll discover the essence of joy, peace, and wholeness that lives within you. That feeling is self-love.
This energy is waiting for you to connect to it whenever you want. This practice is the cornerstone for creating enormous love in your life.
3. Shower yourself with the affection you want to receive from others.
How do you want to be treated in a relationship? Are you treating yourself that way?
One of the quickest ways to shift your energy in relationships is by treating yourself exactly how you want to be treated by others. Remember — your energy determines how people treat you!
Approach yourself with kindness and respect, and that’s what you’ll receive. Shower yourself with positive vibes, compliments, and care, and you’ll inspire others to do that too.
Love yourself the way you want to be loved, and you’ll naturally attract that kind of affection in turn.
4. Stop trying to change the other person. Instead, ask how you can change yourself.
One of my favorite quotes from Gandhi is “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” This is deep wisdom, and it applies to relationships, too.
Be the change you wish to experience in relationships.
Become the person you want to be in the relationship, then let the relationship mold around you. Take the first step to make the changes in yourself, then watch the ways your partner and your life transform as a result.
What I really want you to remember is this: Negotiation doesn’t inspire people to shower us with love. Energy does.
The love you feel in relationships begins with you. Shift your energy to be an embodiment of love, and others will naturally offer you love and affection, too.