by LUMINITA D. SAVIUC 11, JUNE 2015
How to Believe in Yourself Again“Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will?” ~ Jon Bon Jovi
There are times in life when things don’t go our way. Times when we meet with failure, defeat, fear and insecurity. And when that happens, because we are so used to taking our sense of worth from the things we do, from our worldly successes and daily accomplishments, we inevitably start to doubt ourselves. We start to doubt our ability to make our dreams come true, we start to doubt our worth, we start to doubt the people around us and we start to doubt whether we will ever feel safe and secure in this world.
1. Make peace with where you are.
“When we say to you, make peace with where you are, we want you to make peace with where everyone is; we want you to make peace with the world events; we want you to make peace with where your friend is in relationship with where your friend wants to be. We want it to be all right with you where anybody is.” ~ Abraham
There’s no need to fight against what is. Resistance is futile. If you want to get out of this dark world you are now in, back to feeling safe, happy and secure, and back to believing in yourself, you first need to make peace with where you are, with how your life looks at this moment, and with everything that led to this situation. Only by doing so will you have the necessary power and energy to change your present life situation.
2. Trust that life will never give you more than you can handle.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Even though at times it feels as though life is against us and that it doesn’t like us very much, the truth of the matter is that life loves us a great deal. And because it loves us so much, it wants us to constantly stretch, to grow and to discover more about who we truly are and what we are capable of being, doing and having. The way I see it, it’s all about perception and how you choose to look at things. If you shift your mindset, no longer looking at your challenges as burdens but rather as gifts and blessings in disguise, you will soon realize that life will never give you more than you can handle. And if life gives you a lot, it’s because you can handle a lot.
3. Trust yourself.
You have within you all the power, all the strength, all the courage, all the confidence and all the wisdom that’s needed for you to deal with whatever life brings your way, and the more you learn to trust yourself, the easier it becomes for you to access and become one with all of these things.
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” ~ Rumi.
4. Put the past away.
The past is in the past and should be left there. And you know why? Because that’s old energy. Let go of what happened in the past, let go of any guilt, blame and resentment you might be holding on to and allow yourself to move forward in life without that heavy burden on your shoulders. Let it all.
5. Forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for any past “failures” or “mistakes” you think you have made and choose to fill your heart with light and love – love for yourself, love for the people around you, and love for life itself. Don’t let blame, anger, resentment or any other negative feelings you might be holding on to make you think that it’s okay to poison your mind, your heart and your life. Let them all go.
6. Stand guard at the gate of your mind.
“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own thoughts, unguarded. But once mastered, no one can help you as much, not even your father or your mother.” ~ Gautama Buddha, The Dhammapada: The Sayings of the Buddha
Be very careful with the thoughts you think and the words you speak. Thoughts have power, creative power, and if you let your mind wander wherever it pleases, it will continue to trick you into thinking that who you are is not enough – good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, worthy enough, etc., and it will continue to damage the quality of your life.
Don’t believe everything you think. Stand guard at the gate of your mind and discipline your mind to think only thoughts that are positive, uplifting and empowering and ignore all those thoughts that are meant to harm you.
7. Put the comparisons aside.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Never allow your mind to trick you into thinking that it’s okay to compare yourself and your life with that of those around you. You are a unique individual with a unique path to walk in life, and the work you are meant to do in this world is yours and yours alone. Nobody can take it away from you, and nobody can do it better than you yourself can. So put the comparisons aside, and focus on what you gotta do. Walk the path you are meant to walk, at the speed you were meant to walk, and forget about what others are doing.
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left.” ~ Proverbs 4:25-27
8. Create your life from the present moment.
“When the moment is gone, leave it. Don’t collect the past and then you are never old. You are born every second again and again and again. It is a constant rebirth… a riverlike flow of rebirth. You are renewed, resurrected. Die to the past every moment so it is no more a hangup and is not a burden on your head and on your heart, so that it does not hang like a rock around your neck. Go on dying to the past so you become more and more available to the present.” ~ Osho
In each moment you are born again, free from your so-called mistakes and failures, and free from the heavy burden of your past. So make sure you constantly create your life from a place of infinite choices and possibilities – the present moment, no longer from a place of fear, limitations and stagnant energy – the past.
In each moment you are born again, free from your so-called mistakes and failures, and free from the heavy burden of your past. So make sure you constantly create your life from a place of infinite choices and possibilities (the present moment) and no longer from a place of fear, limitations and stagnant energy (the past).
9. Be a wise student.
“It has been a long trip,” said Milo, climbing onto the couch where the princesses sat; “but we would have been here much sooner if I hadn’t made so many mistakes. I’m afraid it’s all my fault.” “You must never feel badly about making mistakes,” explained Reason quietly, “as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.” ~ Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth
Be a wise student. Learn from every experience and every interaction life sends your way, no matter if good or bad. And allow life’s many challenges, difficulties, failures and mistakes to make you better and wiser.
10. Appreciate it all.
Give thanks for everything you’ve been through, for everything you’re currently going through, and for everything you are yet to go through.Don’t let your heart get bitter. Appreciate it all and know that it’s all happening for you. It’s all happening for your growth and evolution. It’s all meant to shape you, to polish you, and to bring to the surface the wonderful, powerful and loving being you are underneath it all.
11. Never stop moving.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
There will be moments in life when you feel like giving up. Moments when the darkness surrounding you will feel) so dense and without and end, and even though a voice inside your head will tell you to give up, you should never listen to it.
No matter what happens, never give up on yourself. Never give up on your life. Keep on moving, no matter how slow, because eventually you will reach the light and when you do, you will realize how much you grew and how much more powerful you have become.
12. Let life guide you.
Your life has a natural flow that it’s meant to follow and if you learn to relax into life, no longer trying to control the course of your entire life, and no longer imposing all kind of limits on yourself and on what life can offer you, you will soon discover that life is abundant in nature and the more you let it guide you, the more it starts to shower you with its gifts and riches.
So learn to relax. Let go of all your expectations about how things should be and about how your whole life should unfold, and allow life to surprise you. Allow life to guide you in the direction you are meant to go and not in the direction you think you should go, and by doing so, not only will you feel safer and more secure in this world, but you will also open yourself up to wonderful new experiences that you never even dreamed of having.
“The Master does nothing, yet he leaves nothing undone. The ordinary man is always doing things, yet many more are left to be done. The kind man does something, yet something remains undone. The just man does something, and leaves many things to be done. The moral man does something, and when no one responds he rolls up his sleeves and uses force.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching