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7 Ways Mentally Strong People Bounce Back

For some people, failure becomes a permanent roadblock between them and success. For the mentally strong, however, setbacks are an opportunity to sharpen skills and become better at what they do. Whether they are passed up for a promotion or their side hustle costs more money than it earns, mentally strong people don’t let failure define them.

Here’s how mentally strong people turn setbacks into comebacks:

1. They keep failure in proper perspective.

Mentally strong people don’t get overly upset when things don’t go as planned. Instead, they keep setbacks in proper perspective. They intentionally regulate their thoughts and manage their emotions so they can continue to behave productively, despite any hardships they face.

2. They practice self-compassion.

Rather than beat themselves up for not getting it right the first time, mentally strong people maintain a productive inner dialogue. They talk to themselves the same way they’d speak to a trusted friend—with kind and supportive words of encouragement.

3. They choose to be grateful.

Instead of becoming upset that their first attempt didn’t work, mentally strong people choose to be grateful for opportunities to try new things. Their willingness to look for the silver lining keeps their mood positive as they commit to moving forward.

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4. They respect their vulnerabilities.

Mentally strong people use failure as an opportunity to spot their weaknesses. Rather than dispute their shortcomings or hide their mistakes, they seek to be authentic. A humble, self-aware approach helps them develop strategies to become a better person.

5. They acknowledge their strengths.

Setbacks give mentally strong people chances to evaluate their strengths, but they acknowledge their positive attributes without arrogance; they don’t need to brag about their characteristics or achievements. Instead, they simply recognize what they do well so they can build upon these existing strengths.

6. They create a plan to become better.

Mentally strong people view failure as part of the long road to success. They turn each setback into an opportunity to gather more information. Armed with more knowledge, they create a plan to try again.

7. They maintain a healthy self-worth.

A mentally strong person’s self-worth is contingent upon who he is, not what he does. As long as they behave according to their values, mentally strong people feel good about themselves, regardless of their personal or professional failures. Their confidence helps them find the courage to get back up each time they fall.

Build Mental Strength

Building mental strength is similar to building physical strength. You can perform exercises and develop healthy habits—and give up your unproductive habits—to build mental muscle every day. The stronger you grow, the more likely you’ll be to turn your next setback into your biggest comeback.

Aug 29, 2016     Amy Morin LCSW    AUTHOR OF  What Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
 
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10 Ways To Build Inner Strength

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

There is only one certainty in life, and that is change. Circumstances arise, either good or bad, which require a response. How we respond, especially to adversity, depends upon our character and resolve.

Like many habits, inner strength can be attained. It doesn’t matter if someone is thought of as weak or timid; they can still grow and achieve the inner strength necessary to overcome any of life’s challenges. But it’s not easy.

Inner strength, resilience, wherewithal, whatever one calls it, must be forged. The only way it can be forged is through conscious effort. Challenges must be thought of as opportunities, because that is exactly what they are. One cannot attain inner strength without challenges. This makes challenges vital to growth. When we give into challenges without a fight, we become weaker. When we resolve to overcome any obstacle, we become stronger. It’s simple to understand, but difficult to achieve.

There are things that we can do to build upon our inner strength. Before we get into the list, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, nobody is going to be strong 100% of the time. Second, failure on the path to achieve inner strength is inevitable – it’s the response that’s important. It’s essential to get back up, and resolve to do better. There’s only one roadblock to achieving inner strength, and that is complacency.

HERE ARE 10 WAYS TO BUILD INNER STRENGTH:

1. LEARN TO RELAX
Building inner strength does not mean rushing around and draining ourselves. To build inner strength, it’s important to have some energy. If there are difficulties – with finances, family, work, etc. – find a way to recharge the batteries. If that means going for a run, meditating, taking a bath, reading, do it. When we prioritize and choose our battles wisely and take the time to recharge, we’re in a much better position to handle whatever comes our way

2. SPEND TIME WITH POSITIVE, PRODUCTIVE PEOPLE
Again, personal energy reserves are important to cultivating inner strength. Spending time with people who care for themselves and others is a terrific way to gain and maintain energy. Negative people are energy sappers; they have a tendency to complain and make other’s lives more difficult. When trying to build inner strength, this is an unnecessary burden. Also, spend time with people who are productive and accomplished – energy flows this way also.

3. FORGIVE OURSELVES
When trying to cultivate and carve out a new, stronger identity, it’s possible that we’ll reflect on times that we may have come up short. It cannot be emphasized enough: the past is the past. Again, this is a difficult thing to do. However, when we’re actively trying to improve ourselves, especially our character, it’s very important that we have the ability to forgive ourselves from any and all past mistakes that we’ve made.

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4. BUILD CONFIDENCE
If we’re going to build upon our inner strength, it’s helpful to be in a confident state of mind. There are a couple of ways to achieve this. First, reflect upon any and all past accomplishments and ask if there were any roadblocks that needed to be overcome at the time. This is important because it reinforces that objectives can be achieved despite of difficulty. Second, remember that nobody is perfect. Even people who we think are successful still have difficulties in life. It’s often inner strength that is the deciding factor.

#5 USING AFFIRMATIONS
Many people have found affirmations to be an important part of their being. When trying to cultivate a new, stronger self, come up with some affirming phrases to state (even if it’s to just us) throughout the day. Maybe try saying a few affirmations first thing in the morning and a few when going to bed. It’s important to remind ourselves that we’re valuable and each brings something unique to this world. Add in some affirmations that include phrases on inner strength.

#6 CREATE OUTER STRENGTH
Developing a strong inner self is actually more holistic than it may sound. It’s important to have a strong foundation by taking care of our physical needs. We should be taking the time out to get in some kind of physical exercise – running, biking, yoga, etc. – to build upon and maintain this foundation. Also, make a conscious effort to eat healthy food and get an adequate amount of sleep each night.

#7 WATCH OR READ SOMETHING MOTIVATIONAL
There are people, past and present, who have achieved extraordinary success mostly because they were exceptionally strong of mind. Some suggestions for people to listen to are: Stephen Covey, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer, Oprah and Tony Robbins. Some of the people on this list overcame some very difficult circumstances on the way to achieving what they have.

#8 TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Here’s something very important: we cannot (cannot!) build inner strength by making excuses. If there is a situation that we’re responsible for and we fail, we must own up to it. Is it uncomfortable? Yes. But it’s absolutely necessary to take responsibility for our actions. Mentally strong people do not make excuses for themselves. If we want to cultivate a core of inner strength, we must follow their examples. If a mistake is made, admit it, forgive, and move on.

#9 WORK TOWARDS SHORT AND LONG-TERM GOALS
One terrific way to gain inner strength is by achieving our goals step by step. Notice the three words “step by step.” Sometimes, we have a tendency to want things now. This cannot be so with anything worthwhile, but here’s what we can expect: we can expect to earn inner strength with every step that we take towards the achievement of our goals. Nothing breeds confidence, accomplishment and inner strength like progress. Progress is one of the keys to building stronger versions of us.

#10 CELEBRATE SUCCESS
This success doesn’t have to be money or status; in fact, it probably won’t be. But if we consistently apply principles to build a stronger person, we’ll see definite results. In being stronger people, we can expect to earn rewards that others will not. When things begin to come to fruition, make sure to savor moments like these. All of that hard work in developing character has paid off and will continue to do so.


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5 Truths About Creating The Life You Really Want

It’s interesting how often we’re asked the question, “What do you want?” Sometimes we’re able to meet this with an emphatically clear, “This AND this, please!” And sometimes we’re not.

Whether limiting beliefs get in the way, or you have too many possibilities to choose from, all of a sudden that carefree gut feeling that knew exactly what you wanted turns into a feeble, uninspired, “Well, I know what I don’t want …”

Knowing what you don’t want is certainly one way of reaching what you DO want, but I invite you to dive into the infinite barrel of possibility for a moment and think about the following five truths to creating the life you really want:

1. Knowing how you want to FEEL is the most potent form of clarity you can have.

When you first find the essence of how you want to feel, and then infuse those feelings into what you want to have, be and do, you become a powerful creator of your own life.

Tip: Get clear on how you want to FEEL within yourself before you design any more to-do’s, goals, or bucket lists.

2. Your desire to begin a new way of life needs to be stronger than your desire to keep doing things the same way.

Ask yourself if your current habits are serving a purpose or solving a problem? This may seem obvious, but if you really want something, you need the desire to have it. It’s not enough for your head to say, “This is a great idea.” Your soul needs to feel it AND it needs to feel safe to you — all parts of you, even the ones you thought you’d let go of when you were 10 years old.

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3. You must have the belief that what you want IS possible.

Belief is more powerful than words or mere thoughts. Your belief is what sustains you while you align your mind and your life to achieve what you want.

Here’s a tip for when you begin doubting yourself: Start a “Success Journal,” a notebook in which you keep all of your little successes. Write down all of the times you wanted to do, be or have something and you made it happen. Then continue to write down your achievements going forward. This will become an excellent reference tool for you in those moments when you’re struggling with confidence and about to hit that downward spiral where you inevitably end up thinking yourself a loser who’s never achieved anything. When take out that journal you’ll realize it simply isn’t true!

4. You don’t get what you want, but what you vibrate.

We are all vibrational beings broadcasting our own signals. Think of it as having your very own “Bat Signal,” one that transmits ALL of the time and draws to it things of the same vibrational match.

Remember a time when you woke up, the sun was shining, you were in a fantastic mood and the day just kept getting better and better. Life felt blissful and you probably witnessed a beautiful synchronicity or two, like the right person or opportunity showing up just when you needed it to.

Now think of a time when you woke up feeling not so great, and one thing after another just kept going wrong and before you knew it the day ended up being one of those you’d rather forget.

Ask yourself what vibe your Bat Signal is giving off and how can you change it so it’s in alignment with drawing to you the life you really want.

5. Life is a continuum.

You don’t live only once; you live constantly. Each and every day should be about doing more of the things that light you up and keep you living in integrity with the person you came here to be. That goes doubly for the hard days.

Forget the idea of only going all out for it when circumstances provoke you. Rather, decide on what little but meaningful and consistent daily habits you can cultivate that will have you closer to living the life you’ve been dreaming about, now.

For example, if you want to lose 10-plus pounds, are you letting go of all the garbage, both emotional and physical, that’s keeping you stuck at your current weight? If you want to cultivate a heavenly relationship, are you sabotaging it each time when the going gets tough, with the thought “Forget it — you only live once ! and consequences be damned?”