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Fun Fact Friday

  • Clinomania is the excessive desire to lay in bed all day.

  • Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you.

  • People don’t listen to the smartest person in the room, they listen to whoever acts as if they know what’s right, according to a study.
  • The older you get, the less people you trust.
Happy Friday!
 source:   factualfacts.com   https://twitter.com/Fact   @Fact


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Fun Fact Friday

  • Women are twice as likely to suffer from insomnia than men. This is mostly due to the hormonal changes that women often experience.

  • When ignored by someone whose attention means the most to you, the reaction in the brain is similar to physical pain.

 

  • Pistanthrophobia is a common fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationships gone bad.

  • Studies show acting confidently is the surest key to success – If you fake it, you will make it.

Happy Friday!
 source:   factualfacts.com   https://twitter.com/Fact   @Fact


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Here’s Exactly How to Tap into Your Intuition for a Happier, Healthier Life

How many times have you said to yourself, “I had a bad feeling about this. I just wish I had listened to my gut!” You don’t have to be a psychic to tune in to your inner voice, and it can help you make better decisions in every area of your life.

Are intuition and instinct the same thing?

“People who think intuition comes from the unconscious may be confusing it with instinct,” says Seana Moran, EdD, a developmental psychologist at Clark University. Dr. Moran gives the instinctive, fight-or-flight stress response as an example of the body’s inherent, instinctual responses. “As opposed to the instincts expressed through our bodies, intuition is our mind’s automated response to multiple situations. It is often based on learning a task so well that it becomes natural,” she explains. Instincts, like the fight-or-flight response, are often triggered by chemical responses in the nervous system. Here are some weird things which may trigger it.

So, if it’s not an instinct, what is intuition, exactly?

Many experts say that intuition is a type of sixth sense that can help steer you toward a good decision if you let it. It may sound airy-fairy intangible, but in reality, intuition is a fine-tuned muscle you can develop over time based on learning from your experiences and environmental clues. “Intuition is, ‘I just know.’ It’s involved in the ‘aha!’ moment when a good idea suddenly comes to mind,” says Dr. Moran, who thinks of intuition as a confident decision that does not result from conscious analysis, logic, or deliberate steps. “It’s involved in everyday behaviors that have been overlearned, and are done automatically, such as brushing teeth, or riding a bike,” she adds. She cites Nobel Laureate psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who refers to intuition as fast thinking that we feel internally, as an immediate answer. Multiple studies, including a 2006 study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences substantiate this claim.

Learning how to flex the intuition muscle

“I think like a lot of things, intuition takes practice,” says therapist Phoebe Farber, PhD. Dr. Farber thinks of intuition as a visceral sense that can aid in your decision-making if you pay attention to it. “Say you’re meeting someone for the first time,” she explains. “You pick up on something about them that doesn’t sit right with you but the person is friendly, so you stop thinking about your first reaction. Later on, you realize that something was wrong, after all, and that your inner voice was trying to tell you. I’ve had situations when I didn’t pay attention to that feeling and then, it wasn’t OK,” she explains. The more you use your intuition, the easier it gets. According to data from Civic Science, a marketing agency, the experiences you acquire over your lifetime also help. That’s why older individuals tend to “trust their gut” more often than young adults do. Civic Science’s main findings indicate that 84 percent of Americans believe in intuition, but that those who don’t believe in trusting that sixth sense are more likely to be under 18. The group also found that people who do believe in intuition are more likely to have kids, jobs, and a spouse. They’re also typically 35 to 54 years old.

 

Gut, mind, or muscle memory—where does intuition live?

Whether you think of your intuition as a gut instinct, or the accumulation of sensory input activating the median orbito-frontal cortex of the brain, intuition may be hard to identify, and even harder to grasp. There’s even some research indicating that intuition may reside in, or at least impact, the heart. No matter where you believe your intuition lives, it’s important that you learn how to work this all-important, albeit intangible, muscle.

Learning how to listen to that inner voice

Think about all the stimuli around you at all times. “So much is coming in—so much sensation—that we’re saturated with it, and this can create a level of unconsciousness about how we take in the world that we’re completely unaware of,” Dr. Farber explains. “That unconscious osmosis is really important because it gives us significant information we can use to guide our conscious decision-making.” Dr. Farber meditates daily, which helps her tune in to her intuitive thoughts and feelings. “Quieting the noise may be as simple as paying attention to your sensations, reactions, and feelings, so you can slow yourself down, and not go on automatic pilot,” she suggests. Practicing meditation, yoga, and deep breathing are all ways to help yourself quiet down. Exercise, saunas, and even hot steamy baths, may help. The less chaos you let affect you, the more you’re able to connect with your intuitive self.

I think, therefore I am (unable to tune into my intuition)

The biggest enemy of intuition is another bane of modern life—overthinking. “If we reasoned our way through every decision or behavior, our minds would gridlock on processing all the details that need to be coordinated,” Dr Moran says. “Take, for example, walking. We learned to walk as toddlers, and now our bodies know how, so we don’t consciously think about it anymore. Same with speaking or writing or eating. As a result, intuition could be considered the after-effect of overthinking, or over-learning.” Overthinking eliminates your ability to tap into intuition.

Can intuition make you more successful at work?

You know that person in the boardroom who always seems to be one step ahead of everyone else? A lot of that may be due to good old-fashioned elbow grease, but intuition, and the confidence it brings, are probably playing a big role. Huffingtonpost.com reported on the 10 things that highly intuitive people do differently than the average worker, and one of them is that they listen to their instincts. The article also quotes Steve Jobs as saying that intuition is more effective in business than intellect is. You’ve probably spent most of your life trying to learn as much as you can, with good results. Tapping into your intuitive sense, however, in addition to the knowledge and skills you’ve already acquired, may very well make you unstoppable. Here are some additional strategies successful people use at work every day.

Can intuition make you more successful at love?

What if there really is such a thing as love at first sight? Could it be that your inner voice can identify the person who will be good for you instantaneously? For some, the answer may be yes, and for others, not so much. But the next time you see that person across a crowded room, you might want to try trusting your gut instead of tuning it out and listening instead to the unending parade of thoughts that often accompany those meetings. Instinctual thought works the same way in all situations, by culling, instantaneously, your past experiences and environmental clues. Whether the person you’re meeting is a future boss or a future husband, your gut instinct has no choice but to operate on your behalf. Once you learn how to connect with it, it won’t steer you wrong.

BY COREY WHELAN
source: www.rd.com


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5 Things That Happen In Honest Relationships

HERE ARE 5 THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU’RE IN AN HONEST RELATIONSHIP:

1. YOU GROW SPIRITUALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.
When you are in an honest relationship, you learn things about yourself through your counterpart. You grow together in many aspects. You enrich each other. No one is pushing anyone. You are both gently expanding and changing to the best parts of yourself. An honest union enhances each other to grow. They support one another in careers, parenthood, spirituality, health, sexuality, and other facets of life. As individuals you thrive, and together you are a team.

2. YOU ARE VULNERABLE, AND IT’S FREEING.
Trust is underrated in relationships. It’s that one component that binds partnerships. Once that’s gone, it’s difficult to get it back. Vulnerability is perhaps the glue that holds an honest union together. It takes courage and strength to be raw. By exposing all to one another, you are set free of expectations, assumptions, and disappointments. There are no guessing games. There is no hidden agenda. You can show the strong and weak parts and still be loved by your partner.

In an honest relationship, there is no criticism because you are both open to whatever happens. This becomes part of the attraction. It’s not based on co-dependency, but rather the admiration of strength and courage. At times, life is a journey of challenges and difficult circumstances, but together you make it through.

3. YOU FORGIVE EASILY.
There are no perfect relationships, because we are imperfect humans. We will make mistakes. We will have bad days. You will argue and disagree on many things, however you don’t hold grudges. You get past it and move to the next issue. You learn that holding anger is destructive, so you move away from it by letting things go. Forgiveness solidifies the partnership. You learn the art of agreeing to disagree while still supporting the other. As Martin Luther King Jr. quoted, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”

4. YOUR SELF-WORTH IS IN A HEALTHY PLACE.
You can both admit your weaknesses and still love one another without judgment. Dr. Dovid Lieberman, speaker and author has dedicated his research on self-esteem in his book, Real Power, in which he shares, “When a person has very low self-esteem, it does not matter how accomplished he appears; such a person is dependent upon everyone and everything to feed his ego…. A healthy sense of self-esteem endows us with the ability to give. To the degree that we do not like ourselves, we cannot receive, we can only take. The more self-esteem we have, the more we are whole, as receiving is a natural consequence of giving.”

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When we are in an honest relationship, we feel good about ourselves. We can transform and transcend love for ourselves because we are being emotionally sustained.

5. YOU LEARN TO COOPERATE, COMPROMISE AND COMMUNICATE.
In this new era of self-promotion, it seems that communication is not always available. Most people put themselves out there in social media without any regard to their partner’s feelings. But, healthy-loving relationships understand and accommodate each other. They affirm one another to meet their needs. Compromising is healthy, but it can also lead to unhealthy boundaries where one partner is constantly taking and the other is always giving. Cooperation is a unit and you learn to faithfully support one another. But without communication, there is nothing.

The key to an honest relationship consists of the 3C’s: cooperation, compromising, and communication. Honest relationships don’t take the other person for granted. They don’t bulldoze one another. They know that in order to succeed in their partnership, there is equal parts of giving and receiving. There are times that they will need one to help pull the other up. Communication allows them to freely share without feeling used or abused.

Honest and loving relationships learn from each other. They learn new perspectives, share goals, and succeed because they are a team. They grow through the changes. They compromise, share, support and most of all, provide a safe haven for their souls to transcend. There is nothing more beautiful than the authenticity from your partner who is also your best friend.

Writer Paulo Coelho has an incredible line in the book, The Alchemist, that reads: “Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” When you are in an honest relationship, your heart feels the priceless treasures. From the time we are children, we are exposed to fairy tales. Little girls begin believing in hopeless love. Little boys play games about knights and saving others. What entails a loving and honest relationship? You might have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your “One,” but when you do, you will know it.


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Have More Patience

“Without patience, we will learn less in life. We will see less. We will feel less. We will hear less. Ironically, rush and more usually mean less.”
— Mother Teresa

Patience: The Key To Peace

Patience is a spiritual lesson.

It calls us to the higher part of ourselves, that part of us that recognizes the divinity within. It overlooks our fear, mistrust, anger, confusion, and all the ways we build barriers to its recognition. It doesn’t even matter how high we build those barriers. Patience is always within reach, a steady force that sings a quiet song of peace.

Impatience isn’t a mere personality quirk or bad habit. It is a life lesson from your soul. Where there is a lack of patience there is a lack of trust and a hopeless feeling of being out of control. Impatience is fear made manifest. It tells us that outcome is uncertain. And uncertainty is never of the soul. Uncertainty is always of the ego and is your first clue that impatience is not the truth. The soul knows outcome is always assured because the soul sees your grace. When you are impatient you must ask yourself, “What is my source?” If you can truly answer that love is your source you will experience patience. “Love” meaning, the Love of God.

When we trust in the divine as our source we know we cannot be left out of the equation of life. The only thing that turns patience into perpetual waiting is lack of trust. Lack of trust comes from a lack of connection to the Infinity within. Your power really is already with you. It will never come from the outside. You will indeed wait forever if you are waiting for any force outside of you to come along and save you. Society teaches us that the “perfect” person or job will make us feel fulfilled. So many of us wait impatiently for that “perfect” something to come along. But that is not trusting. That is waiting on time and space to give you something. Patience is trusting in the presence of your soul and knowing that presence has the power to create that which you need in life. Patience is taking steps of action that lead you gently down the path of your own self. Patience does not compare and contrast. It does not judge. It keeps you in the present moment in grace and love. It is a gentle hug that reassures you that you are safe. The outcome is assured because you have allowed room for what you want to change form if that is what is needed. You have allowed room for personal growth and it is always personal growth that helps you recognize opportunity when it comes knocking.

 

patiencequote

What are you trusting in? Love. Plain and simple. Not the flight of fancy that changes with every glance or the desire that disguises itself as love. Not the wanting of the ego that drives into dark corners confusing us with promises of false satisfaction. No. The love that comes from knowing you are one with the divine, infinite nature that is the source of all there is. The love that keeps you firm in the truth of your soul. The love that cannot be altered based on the behavior of others. The love that is the constant wellspring within. From love flows peace as naturally as any river flows. It brings the calm, regal presence of trust into your conscious awareness and establishes a base of self actualization. From this base, you are centered, intuitively aware, and mindful.

When you are impatient with life remember, impatience takes away.
Patience provides.

Impatience takes you out of the present moment. Patience keeps you in the present moment. Impatience is fear. Patience is love.


by Livnam Kaur
Spiritual Intuitive, Writer, Ayurveda Wellness Practitioner, Reiki / IET Master Teacher, Speaker


Livnam Kaur is a Los Angeles based spiritual intuitive. Her work is about self-empowerment and finding the truth. Known for taking big spiritual concepts and explaining them in easy to understand language, she is a sought after teacher, writer, and speaker. She works to help people find fulfillment by connecting them to their own internal spiritual guidance, Divine Will, the Will of Soul. Once that connection is made, time and space clears and healing is welcomed. Livnam has a monthly spiritual advice column, Dear Livnam, answering questions about walking the spiritual path. She facilitates a weekly study group for A Course In Miracles, gives Spiritual Counseling and Healing sessions, teaches Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, Intuitive Development, and offers Personal Coaching.


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Choice Theory: 7 Relationship Habits

Written on July 26, 2011     by Laura in Choice Theory and Reality Therapy

“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

As long as we insist on controlling people around us, we will create completely unnecessary suffering in our lives.  Dr. William Glasser, creator of choice theory and reality therapy, explains that people are in control of almost all of their behaviors.  We are all driven by our genes to satisfy our “basic needs”: survival, love & belonging, power, freedom, and fun.  While we all vary in the degree to which these needs are important, what we all have in common is the need for satisfying and healthy relationships with others.

From a choice theory perspective, virtually all of our behaviors are chosen.  Consider the common example of the phone ringing when you are sitting or working at home.  If you answer the phone, what would you say was your reason for answering it?  This perspective tells us that the reason that we answer is phone is not “because it was ringing” – it is because we chose to answer it.  There was an option to not choose to answer the phone.

While this example is silly and small, it exemplifies a much larger truth embedded within choice theory… the idea that we are in control of choosing all behaviors.  This is Glasser’s concept of “total behavior.”  Many of his ideas are controversial because he also believes that people choose the symptoms that cause misery and suffering, such as depression or anxiety.  The basic concept is that people will choose the “best” behaviors that they can come up with at the time.  Sometimes, choosing “to depress” is a better option that facing the world when feeling miserable inside.  Either way, Glasser sees all behaviors as choices.

Choice theory provides us with “Seven Caring Habits” and “Seven Deadly Habits” that affect our important relationships with others.  As you might guess, underlying these habits is the extent to which you are attempting to control others with your behaviors.  We are happiest in relationships where we are able to satisfy our basic needs, feel supported and loved, and feel that the other person is not trying to control us.

Seven Caring Habits

(1) Supporting

People thrive in relationships where they feel supported for their true selves and in the pursuit of their dreams, goals, and aspirations.  Support means being there physically, mentally, and emotionally for the other person as well as taking on a greater share of responsibilities when they are suffering or in need.

(2) Encouraging

We all benefit from encouragement in our close relationships.  This can take the form of reminding your partner of their strengths, past successes, or positive qualities.  Remember that encouragement is most effective when it is authentic (i.e., not based in exaggerations).

(3) Listening

To provide your partner with your total presence through fully hearing them and receiving their messages is extremely valuable.  Practicing mindfulness can allow you to become more present with your partner and actively engaged in listening.

(4) Accepting

When we feel completely accepted by another person, it provides an invaluable sense of validation.  This is often a cornerstone of many therapeutic approaches as well (e.g., unconditional positive regard).  When we offer the gift of acceptance to our partners, we are telling them that we “see” them for who they are and choose to accept them completely.  This does not mean accepting behaviors that we not do approve of, but rather accepting the individual as loved and worthy of that love.

(5) Trusting

Trust goes both ways in relationships, and part of building a strong and healthy relationship involves opening yourself up to fully trusting your partner.  It also involves modifying and shaping your own behaviors so that you are a trustworthy partner.

(6) Respecting

Healthy relationships need to be built on a foundation of mutual respect.  This means treating loved ones with dignity, affirming their worth, and respecting their boundaries and limitations.

(7) Negotiating Differences

Relationships must have compromise.  Relationships where neither partner has to make “any” compromises are few and far between.  Mature relationships mean that both partners cannot have all of their needs met all of the time.  Think about that.  You must be willing to openly discuss what you are and aren’t willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship.  Through compromise, you are able to build stability, trust, and strength in your relationship.

7 Relationship Habits

Seven Deadly Habits

(1) Criticizing

When we criticize someone else, we are telling them that we are somehow superior to them or that they are unworthy in some way.  Criticism comes from a place of wanting to control another person through the hope that making them feel insecure or bad about themselves will result in them “changing” for the better.  This doesn’t work.  Criticism only makes your partner want to get away from the source of such pain and unloving behavior – i.e., the person doing the criticizing.

(2) Blaming

This involves placing the responsibility for some sort of outcome on another person, often in a sanctimonious or self-righteous manner.  Of course, there are plenty of instances where our partner genuinely is to blame for something unpleasant.  However, the way that we choose to go about expressing our displeasure is what is important.  There is a way to let your partner know that they need to accept responsibility for their behavior without “blaming.”  It is through honest and loving communication.

(3) Complaining

No one “likes” complaining… except the person doing it.  When we choose to complain about something we are also saying that we refuse to take responsibility for it.  Complaining often results in the other person feeling as if they should somehow “fix” the problem or else just get away from the complaining.  Whatever the outcome, it puts distance between us and those we love.

(4) Nagging

This is absolutely central to the concept of external control.  When we nag someone, it is because we are trying to get them to change a behavior through negative reinforcement (i.e., when they change the behavior, you stop the nagging).  People don’t like to be coerced into doing things they don’t want to do.  If you really want your partner to change a behavior, they must choose to do so on their own.  If it is important enough for discussion, an open and loving discussion about compromise can be helpful.

(5) Threatening

When we wield threatening power over someone, we are hoping that they will essentially be “scared” into complying with our demands.  This is what tyrants do… and people who want to be assured that they will drive their partners away from them.  This doesn’t work!  When we threaten others (directly or passively), we become a source of fear and control, when we want to be a source of love and support.

(6) Punishing

From an operant conditioning perspective, the concept of punishment means that a negative condition or stimulus is introduced as the consequence of behavior that you would like to weaken.  An example would be yelling at your partner each time he or she did something that you didn’t like.  While this can result in the behavior diminishing, it also wreaks havoc on your relationship.  Similar to these other examples, with punishment you become a source of fear, control, and general unpleasantness.

(7) Bribing / Rewarding to Control

Sometimes we “reward” people when they do things that we want them to do.  This seems much nicer than threatening or punishing them, but it is still a form of wielding external control over your partner.  You are still attempting to control their behavior, even if it seems loving or altruistic.  It is always best to allow your partner to come to their own conclusions about what behaviors they wish to change.  This can certainly result from an open discussion about compromise, but the final decision to change behaviors needs to come from within the individual to avoid building resentment.

Do you feel as though your past or current relationship(s) are based on choice theory or external control?  Do you find that you have better outcomes when you stop trying to control people you love?  It can be frightening for many people to give up their attempts to control others.  This often comes from childhood backgrounds where they didn’t feel in control of what was going on around them.

Be compassionate towards yourself if this is the case.  It can take time to become comfortable with letting go of control.  The potential result of a relationship built upon a foundation of choice theory is a long-lasting, stable, and harmonious union of two people who are secure in the knowledge that they can truly be themselves and are free to reach for their dreams.  Since all behaviors are choices, what is one “deadly habit” that you are willing to commit to letting go of in your relationship?

William Glasser Institute. 2010. Retrieved from http://www.wglasser.com/


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The Only Excuse You’ll Ever Need (or Should Ever Use)

… and the research to back it up.
by Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D.       on Jul 18, 2015       in Fulfillment at Any Age

Everyone makes excuses from time to time, and some of us do it more than others. Even if you feel like you’re an honest, hard-working, trustworthy individual (as most of us do), there will be situations in which you just don’t or can’t follow through on a promise. Whether it’s attending a family event, meeting a job deadline, going out with friends, or spending an evening helping the kids with homework, invariably we find ourselves feeling no choice but to use an “untruth” (i.e., a lie) in order to avoid disappointing others.

I will not offer guidance on how to be a more believable excuse-teller by fibbing more effectively. In fact, you might not appreciate the advice I’m providing at first, but if you choose to follow it, and make it a habit, you’ll be glad you did.

Here’s the advice, simple and unadulterated: Just tell the truth.

Not some version of the truth, or part of the truth, or truth that’s technically true but isn’t the real reason for your behavior. It’s got to be, as they say, “the whole truth.”

If you do it, you’ll never again forget which excuses you made to whom, because the truth will be at the bottom of all your explanations. At an ethical level, telling the truth helps you to believe you’re a good and honest individual while allowing you to behave in ways consistent with that self-image.

Before getting to the reason for this advice, let’s look at three faux excuses that don’t measure up to the truth:

  1. The version of the truth. You were late for a meeting due to lingering too long over your latte. There was a particularly busy rush hour that day, so you offer as your excuse, “Traffic was terrible today.”
  2. Part of the truth. You don’t really want to go to the Jack-and-Jill wedding shower you were invited to, so you give as your excuse the fact that your family is coming into town that day. It is true they’re coming, but the shower will be long over by the time your folks arrive in town.
  3. Technically the truth. Some lawyers are expert at giving reasons that are true but only in the technical sense of the word. It is possible, using this logic, that you only remembered your friend’s birthday 3 days after it was over. Your excuse may be that you think it’s much better to wish someone happy birthday in person. Technically that is true, but it’s not why you missed the big day.

In each of these cases, an honest excuse would have involved some loss of face or admission of fault; you’re not perfect after all. However, you would at least be spared the burden of having to remember all the surrounding details of the excuses you gave.

tell

When communicated in a straightforward manner, being honest about the reason for your stumble allows the other individuals involved to feel empathy with you. If you provide an explanation that makes sense—and is 100% truthful—they should be more inclined to try to understand the situation from your perspective. Everyone is late sometimes, we all forget important occasions, and plenty of us prefer a Sunday afternoon alone than in the company of people opening presents.

Putting your reasoning out there in a relatable manner will be more likely to lead others to forgive you.

What the Research Says

Gettysburg College psychologist Christopher Barlett (2013) was interested in the kinds of excuses people make after they inadvertently hurt someone in an interpersonal situation. Maybe they bump into someone and dismiss it with, “I’m having a bad day,” or, “I just had a fight with my boyfriend.” Such excuses provide “mitigating information…defined as factors that may change an initially hostile attribution after a provocation into one that is less personally threatening” (p. 472). The intention of offering such an excuse is to reduce the likelihood that the victim of the shove becomes angry and aggressive.

But do these excuses actually work? 

To answer this question, Barlett analyzed data from 15 studies based on a search of the literature for terms such as anger, misattribution, aggression, and reappraisal. Each study examined participants who manipulated mitigating information to reduce aggression toward them for some type of affront. In the studies, aggressive behavior was measured in a variety of ways, ranging from evaluations by the experimenter to the amount of time excuse-makers were exposed to a (faked) “shock” or keeping their hands in a bucket of ice water. All studies involved manipulating the information that participants received about the cause of the affront and whether apologies or excuses were more effective in reducing willingness to aggress than others.

Supporting the idea that an honest excuse is the best remedy for an affront, Barlett found that when the provocation wasn’t severe, mitigating information (the excuse) reduced aggression when it was considered honest and did not include an apology. The key to making an excuse work, Barlett concluded, is to make it effective in changing the offended person’s appraisal of the provocation.

An effective excuse is detailed enough to provide that key mitigating information and justifies why you thought or did what you did. An apology may seem lame to the recipient because it doesn’t provide that mitigating information. An honest excuse is the best. When you lie about the reasons for your behavior, it’s much more difficult to come up with an elaborate justification that will convince the other person to feel less angry toward you.

As long as the offending behavior isn’t too harsh (such as if you were to injure the other person), your best option is to share an honest, detailed excuse. Justifying your behavior won’t change what happened, but it can change the way the behavior is perceived. It will preserve your relationships and allow you to maintain harmony with loved ones.

Reference
Barlett, C. P. (2013). Excuses, excuses: A meta‐analytic review of how mitigating information can change aggression and an exploration of moderating variables. Aggressive Behavior, 39(6), 472-481.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne