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5 Truths About Creating The Life You Really Want

It’s interesting how often we’re asked the question, “What do you want?” Sometimes we’re able to meet this with an emphatically clear, “This AND this, please!” And sometimes we’re not.

Whether limiting beliefs get in the way, or you have too many possibilities to choose from, all of a sudden that carefree gut feeling that knew exactly what you wanted turns into a feeble, uninspired, “Well, I know what I don’t want …”

Knowing what you don’t want is certainly one way of reaching what you DO want, but I invite you to dive into the infinite barrel of possibility for a moment and think about the following five truths to creating the life you really want:

1. Knowing how you want to FEEL is the most potent form of clarity you can have.

When you first find the essence of how you want to feel, and then infuse those feelings into what you want to have, be and do, you become a powerful creator of your own life.

Tip: Get clear on how you want to FEEL within yourself before you design any more to-do’s, goals, or bucket lists.

2. Your desire to begin a new way of life needs to be stronger than your desire to keep doing things the same way.

Ask yourself if your current habits are serving a purpose or solving a problem? This may seem obvious, but if you really want something, you need the desire to have it. It’s not enough for your head to say, “This is a great idea.” Your soul needs to feel it AND it needs to feel safe to you — all parts of you, even the ones you thought you’d let go of when you were 10 years old.

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3. You must have the belief that what you want IS possible.

Belief is more powerful than words or mere thoughts. Your belief is what sustains you while you align your mind and your life to achieve what you want.

Here’s a tip for when you begin doubting yourself: Start a “Success Journal,” a notebook in which you keep all of your little successes. Write down all of the times you wanted to do, be or have something and you made it happen. Then continue to write down your achievements going forward. This will become an excellent reference tool for you in those moments when you’re struggling with confidence and about to hit that downward spiral where you inevitably end up thinking yourself a loser who’s never achieved anything. When take out that journal you’ll realize it simply isn’t true!

4. You don’t get what you want, but what you vibrate.

We are all vibrational beings broadcasting our own signals. Think of it as having your very own “Bat Signal,” one that transmits ALL of the time and draws to it things of the same vibrational match.

Remember a time when you woke up, the sun was shining, you were in a fantastic mood and the day just kept getting better and better. Life felt blissful and you probably witnessed a beautiful synchronicity or two, like the right person or opportunity showing up just when you needed it to.

Now think of a time when you woke up feeling not so great, and one thing after another just kept going wrong and before you knew it the day ended up being one of those you’d rather forget.

Ask yourself what vibe your Bat Signal is giving off and how can you change it so it’s in alignment with drawing to you the life you really want.

5. Life is a continuum.

You don’t live only once; you live constantly. Each and every day should be about doing more of the things that light you up and keep you living in integrity with the person you came here to be. That goes doubly for the hard days.

Forget the idea of only going all out for it when circumstances provoke you. Rather, decide on what little but meaningful and consistent daily habits you can cultivate that will have you closer to living the life you’ve been dreaming about, now.

For example, if you want to lose 10-plus pounds, are you letting go of all the garbage, both emotional and physical, that’s keeping you stuck at your current weight? If you want to cultivate a heavenly relationship, are you sabotaging it each time when the going gets tough, with the thought “Forget it — you only live once ! and consequences be damned?”


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10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy

Daily habits can affect our well-being. Here are 10 simple actions that research has shown make people feel good.

By Jen Angel / YES! Magazine February 23, 2015

In the last few years, psychologists and researchers have been digging up hard data on a question previously left to philosophers: What makes us happy? Researchers like the father-son team Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener, Stanford psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and ethicist Stephen Post have studied people all over the world to find out how things like money, attitude, culture, memory, health, altruism, and our day-to-day habits affect our well-being. The emerging field of positive psychology is bursting with new findings that suggest your actions can have a significant effect on your happiness and satisfaction with life. Here are 10 scientifically proven strategies for getting happy.

1. Savor Everyday Moments

Pause now and then to smell a rose or watch children at play. Study participants who took time to “savor” ordinary events that they normally hurried through, or to think back on pleasant moments from their day, “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” says psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky.

2. Avoid Comparisons

While keeping up with the Joneses is part of American culture, comparing ourselves with others can be damaging to happiness and self-esteem. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, focusing on our own personal achievement leads to greater satisfaction, according to Lyubomirsky.

3. Put Money Low on the List

People who put money high on their priority list are more at risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, according to researchers Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan. Their findings hold true across nations and cultures. “The more we seek satisfactions in material goods, the less we find them there,” Ryan says. “The satisfaction has a short half-life — it’s very fleeting.” Money-seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization.

4. Have Meaningful Goals

“People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” say Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener. “As humans, we actually require a sense of meaning to thrive.” Harvard’s resident happiness professor, Tal Ben-Shahar, agrees, “Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable.”

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5. Take Initiative at Work

How happy you are at work depends in part on how much initiative you take. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements, or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.

6. Make Friends, Treasure Family

Happier people tend to have good families, friends, and supportive relationships, say Diener and Biswas-Diener. But it’s not enough to be the life of the party if you’re surrounded by shallow acquaintances. “We don’t just need relationships, we need close ones” that involve understanding and caring.

7. Smile Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

It sounds simple, but it works. “Happy people…see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points,” say Diener and Biswas-Diener. Even if you weren’t born looking at the glass as half-full, with practice, a positive outlook can become a habit.

8. Say Thank You Like You Mean It

People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons. Research by Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression — and the effect lasts for weeks.

9. Get Out and Exercise

A Duke University study shows that exercise may be just as effective as drugs in treating depression, without all the side effects and expense. Other research shows that in addition to health benefits, regular exercise offers a sense of accomplishment and opportunity for social interaction, releases feel-good endorphins, and boosts self-esteem.

10. Give It Away, Give It Away Now!

Make altruism and giving part of your life, and be purposeful about it. Researcher Stephen Post says helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get more health benefits than you would from exercise or quitting smoking. Listening to a friend, passing on your skills, celebrating others’ successes, and forgiveness also contribute to happiness, he says. Researcher Elizabeth Dunn found that those who spend money on others reported much greater happiness than those who spend it on themselves.